Today a user asked, "How can I independently motivate myself?"
Here's what I wrote in response. I hope something here helps you too.
5 Tips to Find Your Motivation
Especially in times of discouragement, or when we're feeling overwhelmed, it can be really hard to find motivation and drive to get anything done. Sometimes we can overthink. Sometimes we can feel too exhausted to feel motivated. Sometimes we can talk ourselves out of doing anything at all.
Here are 5 ways to help yourself find your motivation when when you're feeling scrambled, spent or confused:
1. Find your top 3 core values. Our core values are the unconscious motivators in us. They are also the face of the love we have to share with the world. My favorite site for uncovering core values is this one (free survey) - https://www.viacharacter.org/ . If you prefer to look through a simple list, try this one here.
2. Do one single 10-min thing, today, that feeds one of your top 3 values. For me, my top 3 core values are, "creativity, spirituality and learning". So to feed one of those values, I might choose to watch a 10-min youtube video to learn something, or take 10-minutes to meditate, or take a 10-minute break to create something (a drawing, or I knit, or create a solution to a problem for others). Any 10-minute activity counts, if it feeds one of your core values.
3. After you finish the 10-minute item, ask, "What would I like to do better or differently next time?" Like riding a bike, this question helps us to, "adjust the handle bars" or "pedal slower" or "pedal faster". The question helps keep us going in an encouraging, productive way, and helps avoid negative criticism or judgements.
4. Remember to look for the hidden core values behind judgments and assessments. Ridicule, criticism and judgements are all ways of unconsciously trying to get care for a basic core value. For example, if I'm telling myself, "I'm not doing enough," I try to find the hidden core value behind that criticism. Maybe I am feeling scared because I want security. Maybe I'm feeling restless because I need some companionship today. Once you understand the core value behind the judgement, pick a 10-minute task to feed that core value. If my core need is for some companionship today, maybe I'll call a friend, go to reddit, or find a forum to meet new people on a community website. If the core value is security, maybe I'll meditate on releasing my fear and grief and focus on the felt sense of having already reached my goals, then ask myself what 10-minute task would help me get closer to that today. Maybe the task is to ask others what they do to accomplish what I want to accomplish.
5. Remember to play. Sometimes we empaths, caregivers and achievers can get so focused on "doing good" or "doing better" or "doing the right thing" that we (and by we, I mean "I") can lose our/my sense of humor. So to prevent this, I now have a long list of hobbies and activities that bring me a feeling of play and joy, and I reach to do one every day. A 10-minute stroll outside, or 10-minutes of watching cute animal videos, or 10-minutes of watching stand-up comedy can help me rest, lighten up, and add balance. Studies have shown that even daydreaming can improve productivity (in 10-20min bursts). What's your list of, "things that give me play and joy"?
I hope these can help you. The specifics depend on your core values and needs. Once you have that, you have a compass - your heart and body can direct you what to do next.
The great thing is, by following your core values, you're also bringing your love into action in the world.
Feel free to contact me if you'd like to talk more to:
- uncover your core values
- find 10-minute tasks that will feed your needs
- find ways to bring play and balance to every day
Especially in odd times like these, we could all use the gift of whatever your love wants to give!
Strength to your heart!
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